Someone to Help
by Calie1
Summary: Takes place right after the season 2 finale. Danny finally breaks down. DL


Title: Someone to Help

Author: Calie

Summary: Takes place after th season 2 finale. Danny finally breaks down. D/L

Notes: Very short and it's just to make me feel better about what should have happened.

I'm not going to think about it tonight. That's what I said when I walked in the door. I told myself I wasn't going to think about everything that has been going on in my life. I wasn't going to think about my only brother still in a coma, I wasn't going to think about my ex partner and good friends' brutal murder, and I wasn't going to think about my friend and colleague being in critical condition. I wasn't. Yet I couldn't sleep and stood in front of the refrigerator for minutes, with the door open, and not very sure of what I was looking at. Finally I shut it and walked towards the living room. It was pitch black but I didn't need any light to know where I was going.

As I usually did when I couldn't sleep I turned on the TV and stared blankly at it as I flipped through the channels. I didn't register one thing that came over the screen though. All I could see was my brother's beat up body, Aiden's burnt one, and Flack with a hole in his stomach. These were people I knew and each one was so different from the other yet I couldn't find a reason for one that they had deserved this. We'd caught the bad guy, and justice would be served for each one of them. Somehow I still didn't feel better. After years of seeing people's grief over losing a loved one I finally knew what it was like. Nothing would ever completely take that pain away and it was beginning to feel like nothing would help.

There was a soft creek and I turned down the sound and looked around my apartment. Nothing though, no movement and no more sounds. I shook my head, turned back to the TV, and turned it up only slightly.

I felt guilty being home when Mac, Stella, and Hawkes were at the hospital with Flack. I just couldn't take it anymore though. I'd already spend so much time in hospitals and around death I just couldn't do it.

There was another creek and I pressed mute again. I looked in the direction it came from and another sound came from the back of my apartment. I only sat there a few seconds before I knew what it was.

"Danny, what are you doing?"

"Watching TV." She came a little closer and stopped when she could see the TV.

"Danny, it's on mute and is that the Spanish channel?"

I hit the mute turn the sound back on to be sure but as soon as the characters started speaking I realized she was right. All I could do was shrug. "That's why I had it on mute; I didn't know what they were saying anyway." She knew I was lying but she didn't say anything. Her bare feet padded over the carpet towards me then she curled up on the couch on her side and laid her head again the back of it. I knew she was staring at me but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it just seemed easier to stay in control if I didn't.

"Are you okay?"

Of course I wasn't, but she knew that.

"Danny, Flack will be okay. Things sounded really positive at the hospital."

It would have been the first time that something worked out okay for someone I knew. That's if everything was okay. Flack still hadn't woken up. Stella had called a couple of hours ago to say Mac said Flack was responsive and the doctors thought he would wake but nothing could ease my worries.

She hadn't being touching me before but she scooted closer so that her knees where against my thighs and then took my hand in hers. She didn't understand I knew, and I guess it was a good thing. Who really wants to know that kind of pain? Her other hand touched the back of my head and her fingers combed through my hair gently and it only made it worse. Maybe her being there had been a bad idea. Her being there was my fault though; I'd wanted her to stay. It was always harder to keep everything in when someone was being comforting. When I could feel my eyes begin to water I blinked quickly and hoped I could hide them but I couldn't stop. The first couple of tears fell silently and I saw her head tilt to the side to look at me but she said nothing. Her hands came up to the sides of my face and made me face her.

"Danny…" What could she say though? She had no idea how he felt and nothing she could say would take away from his pain. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly.

It was all I needed to break down. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her neck and continued to cry silently into her shoulder.

"Danny, I'm sorry all this happened to you. I wish there was something I could do." She kissed the top of his head and held him tighter. For the few moments he cried she rubbed his back, combed his hair, kissed the top of his head softly, and did her best to comfort him but she still felt helpless. When he quitted down she took his head in her hands and forced him to face her. She kissed his lips softly and rested her forehead against his. "It won't always be like this, I can promise you that."

I wanted to believe her and I knew in time some of the pain would begin to fade but I just couldn't see it now. "Let's go back to bed." I turned away from her and pointed the remote at the TV to turn it off then grabbed her hand in my own. When I stood up she did the same and followed me to the room. She was the first to lay in the bed and I thought with mild amusement it was on the side of the bed that used to be mine. When she first started staying over she slept on my side of the bed and I didn't say anything, then I finally asked her if I could have it back. After a lot of pleading she convinced me to let her keep it. It took me a while to adjust to my new side of the bed.

When I laid down she was on her side facing me but I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm tired of losing people."

It was the first look that she had into what he was feelings and she didn't know how to deal with it. While she considered his words she rested her hand on his chest and lightly ran her fingers over it. "I know."

"I mean my brothers in a coma and doesn't even seem alive, Aiden's dead, Flack almost died and we have know idea what will happen to him." I shook my head at how ridiculously horrible everything was. "I mean let's not forget Stella either, she could have been killed. It's a miracle that she's still alive. Then this bomb? At any minute a bomb could have went off with one of us in it." I rolled over and propped myself onto my arm and looked down at her. "I came face to face with one today." I could see well enough now and I studied her face. "Mac was in that building with Flack too; he could have easily been hurt as well." Her hair was pulled back and her face was left exposed to me and it made me tense up at the reminder. "And look at your face Lindsay." I cradled the side of her face that had been injured but was careful not to touch the stitching or the bruising near her hairline. She could have been in that building with Mac but I couldn't bring myself to state that. It was disconcerting the way she had so easily become an important part of my life and me. "Why is this happening?"

Lindsay took his hand in hers and shook her head. "I don't know. It's not just you Danny, I know it feels like it is. We see people every day that go through this and I think sometimes we forget what loss is really like until it happens to us. But Mac's okay, I'm okay, Stella's okay, and Flack's okay. And as for your brother Danny, don't give up on him yet. I know it feels like you're losing people but your not." He didn't say anything in response and just released her hand and rolled onto his back again.

For a few moments I laid there in silence and tried to sort everything out and tried to look at the way she did but I couldn't. "All I can see is everyone dying." She sighed and I knew she was running out of things to say and I couldn't blame her, I wasn't being very positive. Instead she nudged my arm and I moved it so that she could lay her head on my chest and when she was settled I rested my cheek on top of her head. Nothing was going to make things better, but I had been wrong earlier, I at least had Lindsay to help me.


End file.
